Do Not Forgive

I do not forgive the life I’ve been dealt

Straight A’s once danced in my eyes, but now they melt

A new land, a new tongue, a new strife

I do not forgive the change that took my life

Grandfather’s laughter echoes still

Cancer took him, leaving only memories to fill

I do not forgive death’s cruel hand

Other grandparents, faces I’ve never known, lost in a distant land

I do not forgive the loneliness I’ve known

Childhood friends, now distant dreams, forever overthrown

Social anxiety, a constant theme

I do not forgive the fears that haunt my dreams

I’ve searched for friends, for someone true

But connections falter, and I’m left feeling blue

I do not forgive the pain of being alone

Parents’ love, a question in my mind, forever unknown

I do not forgive the doubts that creep

Dreams are big, but fears and doubts seep

This year, I faltered, my mental state gave way

I do not forgive myself for the struggles of each day

I do not forgive the words that cut so deep

The bullying’s sting, a childhood wound that sleeps

I do not forgive the weight of responsibility

Oldest child, a burden borne with reluctance and anxiety

Life feels like a series of missed chances

I do not forgive the path that’s been laid out for me

Regret and longing, a constant dance

I do not forgive the life that’s not what I’d planned