Laying in the bathtub
Looking at the shower up above
Suddenly the thought of drowning doesn’t sound harsh
I twist the knob
Let the water hit my face, drop by drop
I make sure to close the drain hole
I let the water rise swallowing me whole
Trying to scare myself off
But the thought of going fully down does not sound haunting enough

The water is rising and rising
I am sinking and sinking
Waiting for my body to fight it
Waiting for my brain to scream out a warning
I go down and down
Suddenly all my soul wants is to drown

I feel drunk by my own thoughts
I feel high by my own cries
Suddenly the thought of me cutting my own skin doesn’t sound bad at all
I look at my bathtub
All I can picture is my own blood
All I can imagine is my pale wounded arm
Suddenly the idea is not scary at all
And that’s what I’m the most afraid of
​
The water is rising and rising
I am sinking and sinking
Waiting for my body to fight it
Waiting for my brain to scream out a warning
I go down and down
Suddenly all my soul wants is to drown

Drop, drop, drop
Water dripping from the tub
Once my breathing stopped
My body screamed a call
Suddenly everything was scary and dark
Suddenly I wanted to live my life

I couldn’t stand my family getting the call
Hated the idea of hearing my friends cry
Despised to end it when I still had the chance to turn the page
Maybe the next chapter won’t be as rough as the previous one was