I am starving.

I’ve been starving for years.

Yet the only thing I can’t stomach more than food is the thought you might find repulsive.

So I style my hair the way you like

Shave my body until I bleed.

I feign ignorance

So you can explain things to me.

I may not be a girl

but you treat me like one

And as grotesque as it feels

I wish you did it more.

I crave your touch

But I loathe the sensation

I don’t want to be your object

but I ache for the attention.

I get this churn in my stomach

when my bad sides on display

Yet the only thing I can’t stomach more than food

is the fact that I’m gay.

You parade with a girl

Tucked beneath your arm

But you smirk as you stomp

I think I got the message.

So I wax

Exfoliate

Prime for your pleasure.

My dismay is to be ignored

my body, exploited

my voice, unheard.

Labeled whore

Filthy secret

And still

I just want to be cherished.

But with love there’s a cost:

you must remain hungry.

Malnourished

yet I glisten

I’m engineered by you,

for you.

I’ll never be sufficient,

so long as I’m a boy.

I am still ravenous.

But if you’re pretty, you’re patient.

If you’re beautiful, you’re famished.