TW: Suicide

I will inhale CO right before bed. My mother will think I was sleeping around 9 and scream at me for not waking up. She'll scream endlessly, just to realize it was the last time she'd ever get the chance to yell at me. I'll be gone. My parents wil 911. All emergency services will arrive on the scene. Maybe they won't find my cause of death, and it'll be natural causes. NATURAL. But maybe they'll find out i illegally bought CO to murder myself. Everyone will do CPR. Or maybe not, because i'll be "long gone" but luckily for me, i'll be dead. If they do an autopsy, they will probably find out it was not a natural death at all. i attempted, and i passed the attempt. maybe if i live after CPR, my perspective on life will change and i would want to live. but for now, I would want a person to shoot me right in the chest. a homicide. maybe after my suicide, successfully attempted, the police would need a search warrant for my belongings. They might find this written piece and read it and see how messed up my brain is. It's messed up as writing and by describing my own death scene. My parents will regret every breath of their existence. Sadness, anger, fury will overcome them.